A Little Touchy Feely Stuff
by LotrNaustenfan
Summary: Based off the lines in Road Not Taken. "We took shifts trying to keep you company" "Well that must have been some conversation. What did you say?" This is what Vala said. Daniel/Vala. Daniel isn't in it, but it's all about him.


A/N: This is a little piece based off of the end of Road Not Taken. I watched it just recently and couldn't help but hear this story knocking in the back of my brain. So I wrote it. Hope you enjoy. It was fun to write. Oh and this is my first, and probably only, Stargate SG-1 fic. I just couldn't help myself. Plus I love Vala, she's so fun and so deep and interesting to think about and write about. And on top of that, I kind of see where she is coming from, cuz I mean who wouldn't want to "make babies" with Daniel Jackson? I mean HELLO. lol. Anyway, have fun.

* * *

A Little Touchy Feely Stuff

She walked quietly into the room but with a great deal of pep in her step, as always. She had a very distinct way about her, from posture to speech and a million other ways inbetween. On this particular day, she was heading for her second session with Colonel Carter. Ever since they had found out about her experimentation with the phasing technology that had some how permanently seperated them from her, even beyond the help of the Sodan cloaking device, they had been taking turns keeping Carter company in her little laboratory. At first they had no idea what they would talk about, but then words came naturally. Since response was impossible it had become a psychological monologue where each person was able to say things they could tell no one else, and hoped never to really have to say at all. But since Carter was, for one, a very easy person to talk to who would not judge, and because it was difficult to find anything else to talk about, they had all found words pouring out of their mouths.

For Mitchell, it had been about his time in the hospital after the Antarctica mission, when he felt helpless. He offered this, at first, to make Carter at ease in her current situation, but by the time he made it to his second shift with her, it was more about venting his own frustration.

Teal'c had spoke mostly about Ryac and how much he had grown to admire his own son. He had spoken of fears that the fight with the Ori would one day find his son and that he would have to make the choice between fighting and succumbing to the Ori on his own. Teal'c feared that his son would become like so many other Jaffa warriors in the fight against the Ori--dead. But equally, he had faith in his son and knew that he would fight for his freedom, just like Teal'c himself would.

Neither told the other what they had said to Carter on these seperate sessions, but both seemed to understand that words did not need to be spoken. However, Vala Mal Doran was a very different kind of person. She didn't keep secrets well, and she most certainly did not have a subtle bone in her body. Keeping her mouth shut required a lot of goofing off and acting silly. For Miss Mal Doran it was easier to deny everything than to be seen as weak because she had true feelings of some kind.

She had struggled with this very thing when it had come to Daniel. He had been a puzzle from the start, and she never understood why her attempts to hide her feelings had simply made him more angry. She thought men didn't like the "touchy feely" stuff, as Mitchell had called it once, but Daniel seemed to be different. Even the sound of his name on her lips sounded sentimental, and it annoyed her that she couldn't seperate her feelings from the thought of him. It didn't help that it had been some time since the Quest for the Sangral and they still hadn't discovered if Daniel had gotten through the gate or was captured by Adria. This affected Vala very strongly, not only because she cared about her teammates, but because it was Daniel, and that was the one teammate she depended upon the most.

It was with that particular person in mind that Vala Mal Doran had entered the laboratory to take her shift with Carter. Mitchell had passed her on the way, in somewhat of a hurry; apparently he had to visit the lavatory and quickly. When she entered she plopped down in the chair she had occupied the last time she had visited Carter and immediately began to spin the chair. If Carter truly was there, she would have asked what was wrong, for anyone who knew anything about Vala Mal Doran knew that spinning herself in a chair with her eyebrows crinkled and a dazed look in her eyes was either thinking of something to do, or thinking very hard about something important. Considering this particular look was so serious, Carter would have guessed the later. Of course, Vala instinctively knew that even out of phase, Carter would immediately recognize this, so she began to talk and distract herself from her thoughts.

"Hello, Samantha. How have you been since I was last here? Great, aside from the still being out of phase part?" she answered for her with a small laugh. "Yeah, I'm fine too." She paused in thought and bit her lip a bit. She thought for a while before she realized she wasn't alone.

She glanced up instinctively even though she knew she wouldn't see the face of Samantha Carter looking down at her. She didn't need to see her, really. She knew what her face would say, "what is the matter, Vala? Why are you acting so strangely? Why haven't you said you are bored yet?"

"I know what you're thinking, and it's nothing really. I'm just..." she thought about the right word to explain her state of being and instead of getting sentimental she tried to be more tough, "irritated. This planet is so stiflling and the intel and communication is awful. You know, we still haven't gotten word from Daniel. Of course, knowing him he's already escaped the creepy Merlin planet and has discovered some ancient artifact that has captured his attention so greatly that he has simply forgotten to contact us." She realized she had been blabbing and with absolutely no true belief in the words she professed. What was worse she had been trying to be empty of feeling, but there came that name again and then the thought of him in the hands of Adria, and she knew that Carter would see right through her supposed "irritation" and right to the point. She decided to try, at least, to deny it.

"I'm not trying to be silly and emotional here, but really I've never known someone whom I had to worry so much about. He's always getting himself into trouble, angering someone somewhere or thinking better of people than they really are. One of these days it's going to kill him." She grew silent as she said it. She hadn't meant to say it. It was simply supposed to be a cliched saying. But then she heard the words and she couldn't cope with them. She almost started crying right there, but she had a reputation to uphold, and she would at least try to make her emotion make sense. Admiting that it really hurt her to think of him dead was far less difficult than explaining why he was important to her. She decided to take her chances with a half truth.

"The thing is Samantha, no one has ever really believed in me. Not like he does, at least. He not only expects great things from me, he also doesn't judge me when I fail." Something about that word made her flashback to that moment as Mitchell had attempted to pull her through the gate. She remembered his voice. The last words he spoke to her. _Get to the gate now! I'll be right behind you. _He not only saved all their lives by letting them escape, he had purposely jumped directly in front of Vala to stop Adria from firing on her. She could feel tears tugging at the corners of her eyes, now. She took a deep breath trying to clear the tension in her face, but she couldn't get his voice out of her head.

"I just want him to be safe." Her lip wavered a little in the corner. Her hand flew to her mouth as she tried to smooth away the sadness, but his beautiful face kept popping in her head and she couldn't imagine what Adria could have done with him.

"What can I do, Sam?" tears were flowing freely now. If Sam were really there, she might try to brush away the tears, but were she out of phase or simply not there at all, she wouldn't be able to. "He has saved my life on multiple occasions, I feel like there is something more I should have done for him. And now I can't even tell him that I..." She stopped and cleared her mind, as she put on her mask again, if only partially. "When I first met him, I just thought he was incredibly attractive physically, but as I've gotten to know him, I've realized that his charm is so much more than that. He's intelligent, brave, he cares about everyone and always tries to do the right thing. No, more than that...he does always do the right thing, no matter what, even if it means the end of his life, and the sad part is he doesn't even see it as a noble sacrifice. He doesn't realize how much we all need him. How much I need him."

She dropped her head to her lap for a moment, trying to collect herself. When she came back up her face was clear again and she spoke quietly. "And he is the first person in my whole life who actually cared about me. Mitchell told me about when I was captured by Athena. He told me that Daniel never gave up on me and that he did everything he could to find me." She choked up a bit as she admitted all this to herself as well as to Colonel Carter. "I still remember that first memory of him, as everything started to come back to me. I, all of a sudden, remembered not only who he was, but how much I cared about him. Just the memory of his face made it all so clear. That was when I knew, Sam. I knew in that moment, that if I had been lying to myself up until that point, I could no longer.

"Then when he used the Ancient device and downloaded Merlin into his conscious mind...I could do nothing, but sit by and watch. I couldn't stand it." She cried at this and buried her face in her hands, it was a while before she regained herself. "I just want him to be safe. If he's safe, I can deal with him not caring for me. I can deal with him thinking I'm annoying and not trusting me completely. I can deal with just about anything as long as he is safe. That's all I ask."

She rattled on for a little while longer, but as time grew short she decided to change the subject of the conversation. Perhaps she would talk about the new pair of boots that she bought, or the new book she had been reading, the Da Vinci Code. Whatever the conversation choice, she knew that thoughts of Daniel would linger in the room, just as they seemed to follow her everywhere throughout the base. Everything seemed to remind her of him, and since she had been writting all her reports in his lab, it was hard not to think of him everywhere she turned. There lay an artifact she once teased him about because the script looked like chicken scratches. She said it was similar to his own hand writting and that was obviously why it was so easy for him to read. There sat the chair he always sat in when he was looking up information on his computer. She always used to love plopping in that chair after he had left the room. There, she could still smell his masculine scent and feel the warmth of his body as if she was sitting in his lap and he was wrapping his arms about her.

As her session with Carter was almost over, Vala found that her conversation had steered so far from Daniel that she might actually be okay for the rest of the day. She was reminded of her favorite show that was going to be on in a few hours and she was very excited to see the goings on of some where far from where she was. Muscles would be arriving in no time, so she prepared to leave as she had the last time, and would continue to each time she visited.

"Thanks, Samantha, for listening, if you were listening," she laughed a little. "You really are a very easy person to talk to. I might even call you my best friend." She smiled widely and hoped Sam was smiling widely as well. She began to set the room back in order for Muscles, but was reminded of something.

"Sam? If, I mean, _when_ Daniel comes back...I mean, I know you two are close, just please..." she knew that she didn't really need to say the words, but she felt it necessary anyway. "I will tell him when the time is right. Just, keep my secret? Please?"

She heard the footsteps of Muscles, slow and even footsteps that were unmistakable. She turned to leave, but couldn't help herself...

"He will come home, Sam. I can feel it. I don't know if it is the bracelets still exerting there power over us, or what, but I know that he is out there somewhere, and he will be home soon. He _has_ to come home soon." She began to drift off into other thoughts, as the steps got closer to the room. She hastely took her leave of Samantha Carter with a wave and big smile.

"Goodbye, Samantha," and she was out of the room in a dash.

* * *

Sometime later...

"Well that must have been some conversation. What did you say?" Sam asked the three sitting in the room. They had explained how when she was out of phase, they had tried to communicate with her through the cloaking device, but when that failed they had taken shifts with her. She had in turn been very curious about what they would say to her when she couldn't respond. The question itself only seemed to draw more questions as each person avoided answering by walking out of the room. Sam knew it must have been some very big deal conversations or else they wouldn't be so ivasive.

Just as her thoughts drifted off, she felt strong yet dainty arms incircle her. "Welcome back, Samantha. We really did miss you," the voice of Vala Mal Doran said. Sam was touched and said as much. She was happy to be back, as well.


End file.
